Renesmee: Growing up Vamp
by Mooseymoose
Summary: Renesmee is rapidly approaching the final stages of adulthood...sort of. From her point of view, see the insecurities of the most unique Cullen as she deals with her parents and romance.  Oh, Christ, guys I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

_Gross._

Well, maybe not that gross. It was kind of sweet, but it reminded me of how horny they were all the time.

Dad dipped his reddish-brown head to catch Mom's lips. She wrapped a hand around his neck to bring him closer.

"GUYS!" I exclaimed. "I'm right here!" They came up for air to grin at me sheepishly.

It didn't really unnerve me anymore that my parents looked the same age as me. Technically, in "human" years they were. Dad was 17 when he was turned into a vampire, and Mom was changed when she was 18, which, coincidentally, happened right after I chewed my way out of her stomach. I still feel bad about that.

Dad ran a square, pale hand through his chronically disheveled hair. Mom swung her dark hair forward to hide her face, but I could see her grinning. Double gross. They were so cute it was ridiculous.

"Sorry," Dad said, but I don't think he meant it. I always thought it was funny that, despite how many years it had been (over 100), he still had a slight Chicagoan accent. "I'm just going to miss your mother."

"Oh, gawd." I giggled. "You're just going hunting, Dad. I'll keep her company."

I sighed contentedly when he pulled me into a fierce hug, I love my dad. I remember, when I was really little, I was dedicated to Mom. Then, when I reached my preteens (approximately a year later), there was a power shift and I became a daddy's girl. You know how moms are.

"Let's go, Alice." He gestured for Aunt Alice to follow him. She winked at me and blew a kiss to mom before heading with Dad out the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" a deep voice boomed. Mom mock covered her ears and stuck her tongue out at the visitor. I turned and smiled awkwardly.

It was Jake, of course. No one else would enter a room that way. He had a big smile on his face, as usual. He shook his dark, unruly hair like a wet dog. It was raining, apparently.

"Did I miss Ed?" he asked, looking slightly forlorn. Nobody else ever dared to call Dad Ed, so I thought it was pretty funny. I didn't want Jake to see my smile, though, so I hid it.

Jake had always been there. Like my parents, he didn't age, but for completely different reasons. He was a shape-shifter, a wolf. They say he will eventually start to grow "older", but I don't believe it. It would be too weird after seeing him look the same my entire life. Which, now that I think about it, has been pretty short. He was my best "fwend" when I was a baby/toddler. Then he was my older brother when I was about 7 or 8 in human years. He was my shoulder to complain on when I was a tween. I even confided in him when I got my first period, a decision I now regret hugely due to the mortification of the whole thing. But recently, it's been weird. I am not done growing, but Carlisle said I should be within a few months. I'm about 16. And with that age comes strange things. Jake has never seemed so good-looking to me before, has never smelled so good, and has never seemed _sexy_…until recently. Do you understand why I feel awkward now?


	2. Chapter 2

I feel like everything I say to him will seem like a come-on, so I dare not speak or laugh at his jokes. Even more embarrassing, I'm sure he remembers when I used to call him "my Jacob" until about 2 years ago. I was a little kid, but still.

Jake, who looks 17 and 25 at the same time, plops on the couch and snaps open a beer that he sneaked from the fridge. Is he underage, technically? It's nearly impossible for him to get drunk, anyway, because his metabolism is so high. _And it definitely shows. _I think, looking at the sliver of washboard abs peeking from underneath his white shirt. The shirt, which is not quite as bright as his teeth, stands at a sharp contrast to his smooth, russet-colored skin.

_Stop!_ It's like having a crush on my uncle. And since I do not live on the banks of the Alabama River, crushing on uncles is sooo not normal.

Mom, pushing back her terminally un-brushed hair from her face, gives me a quizzical smile. I'm sure she could see the blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"I gotta go, buddy," she says, patting Jake on the knee. "Gotta go pick up stuff for…dinner."

Then she wooshes out the front door, and I start to go after her yelling "WAIT! You don't eat! And Alice banned you from going to the food store, remember?"

But she was long gone. I had followed her onto the porch, and she had already pulled away in her sleek red Ferarri. I could have sworn I saw a saucy smile on her face.

I sighed and turned back to the house…but instead collided with 6'6 of unadulterated muscle. I slammed my nose right into Jake's chest.

"OUCH." I exclaimed. He pulled back, barely hiding his snickering.

"Sorry, Ness."

"Why did you follow me out here?" I demanded. He looked at me blankly.

"Uh," he responded. "I wanted to see if you wanted to play video games?"

He phrased it like a question, which made me immediately know that he had made that answer up on the spot. But rather than start up an incredibly awkward argument, I begrudgingly agreed to play video games with him.

"As long as it's Just Dance." I commanded. "I refuse to play any other game."

Jake sighed dejectedly. "That doesn't count." He whined.

Evidently, it did, as he turned it on.

Now, you think that because I'm part vampire, I would be good at Just Dance because it requires fluidity of movement and all that jazz. Actually, I am horrible.

My reflexes are fantastic, and I move fast, but I'm a terrible dancer. My own dad even told me so. It's because I move so rapidly. I can't slow down. Fast and strong, but not graceful. That's me.

Still, I really like to play that game. Dad bought me the Xbox Kinnect because he thought I would like that dance game better. I tried it a couple times, but no matter what, I can't align myself with the screen and I end up failing horribly. The only person that really plays it is Emmett. Rosalie watches and smacks his butt occasionally.

Jake plays with me, thank goodness. I wouldn't want to be mortified by doing it alone and looking like an idiot. At least this way he's focused on the screen and not my dance blunders.

Of course, he's also a terrible dancer. Like me, he has the skill and grace of an elephant. So I didn't feel TERRIBLY unsexy next to him.

"You're a bad dancer!" I teased boldly, laughing as he almost tripped performing "Rasputin."

He looked at me. "You know me," he said, his voice becoming low and seductive, "I like to burn my calories…in _other _ways."

Shocked and mortified, I fumbled for the pause button on the Wii remote, and then stared at him, my jaw agape. Jake looked bewildered. "Uh…what's wrong?"

"Let's see…you're making disgusting sexual innuendos?" Oh my god oh my god oh my god it was so _weird._

"Nessie I was kidding!" he sort of yelled. "That's what guys do! We make distasteful jokes in front of girls and they're supposed to forgive us! Because we're guys!"

Is the word girl a synonym for kid?

"Yeah, you make them to my mom all the time!" _That_ was an understatement. "But I'm not even seven years old yet!" This was meant as a joke. "And you're practically my uncle!"

Suddenly I had both arms pinned above my head, and a warm male body pressed up against mine. Jake's hot breath tickled my ear. My own was ragged and embarrassing. I looked up at him cautiously, and saw that his teeth were gnarled, his mouth twisted angrily.

"I," he snarled, "Am NOT your uncle."


	3. Chapter 3

My pulse was hammering so intensely that I was sure Jake could hear it. I was positive he could hear my deep, shallow breathing and see that my ENITRE BODY was flushed scarlet.

He scrutinized me some more, then pulled away, sighing savagely. My arms fell limply to my sides and I swayed where I stood. He had…caught me off guard, to put it mildly. I was sure my mortification would last for years.

"What the hell was that about?" I demanded. I tried to make my voice sound authoritative but I ended up sounding weak and breathless. Big tough vampire, my foot.

"Why would you consider me your uncle?" he demanded back, sounding strong and sure.

"Because…" how was I gonna say this? "You're so close with my parents, and you took care of me when I was a baby. I remember _everything_, Jake. Would you rather be an older brother? I think that would be more accurate." I said, trying to appease him. He didn't want me to think he was _old._

"Why can't I just be a friend?" he asked, turning to face me. "Despite what you think, we really are close to the same age. It doesn't matter that I took care of you when you were little; it's different now. I want us to hang out more. Jeez, I'm only 22 in human years! Why do you ignore me all the time?"

He looked hurt. Instantly, I felt bad. He was so young. Just like me. Why couldn't we be friends? I had no other friends besides my aunts and uncles, really, and I hate to say it, but they didn't really count. Jake had been watching out for me since the beginning, and I could be completely honest with him since he fit in to this whole weird situation. I didn't have any secrets with him. He wasn't a gal pal, but I would make do.

"I can't answer that." I say apologetically. _Well, I ignore you because I find you incredibly-edibly attractive. _Yeah, that would go over well. "But we can totally be friends. I'm sorry I just always thought of you as a family member." Okay, that part was partially a lie.

"Do I sense some TENSION?" a voice thundered behind me, right before a pair of massive biceps lifted me in the air. It was Emmett, of course. Who else would do that? Jake's face looked like it kinda fell at the interruption.

Emmett was accompanied by the lovely Rosalie. She smiled at me, and then sent a poisonous smirk at Jake. Don't tell anyone, but I don't really like Rose that much. She likes me a LOT, but for all the wrong reasons, like I'm the vampire baby she wanted for herself. Not because she thinks I'm a good kid or anything. I'm just a symbol, an object. She's ok, I guess. I just know that there are some issues between her and my parents. She hates Jake, that's for sure.

I think he just finds her amusing, like she's one of his sister's Barbie dolls that he loves to torture.

"No tension." I told Emmett quickly, still dangling in the air.

"Lovers quarrels?" he asked sneakily. What was he talking about? Jake glared daggers at him. I suspected Emmett was just smiling.

Jake and he are friends, but I can tell they want to beat the crap out of each other 90% of the time. It's nothing personal. Emmett and Jake consider themselves alpha males and would love to find out who's stronger. I don't think Emmett would mind losing a couple limbs in the heat of the moment, just as Jake wouldn't mind breaking half of his. Men are so strange.

"We were just on our way out." Emmett explained, setting me down and kissing the top of my head like I'm 2 years old. He and Rose proceed out the door, which bangs noisily shut behind them.

"Where is everyone GOING today?" I wonder aloud. Jake shrugs. I turn the Wii completely off and plop on the couch, tired after all the dancing and our pseudo argument. Jake plops down as well, keeping a respectful distance.

"So," I begin. "How are things with you and Leah?" I always suspected there was something between them, despite my mom's laughter whenever I voiced my opinion aloud.

"Ugh," he groaned. "We are not going out in the slightest. She's just my alpha-in-chief. Or 'beta' as Bella would say. Whatever. She's too high maintenance for me. She's kind of a pain in the ass."

I grinned.

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much." I commented mildly.

"Lady, huh?" he asked lightly, lurching forward and pinning me to the couch. "Stop!" I shrieked, completely unable to move. He was sitting on my back. God, he was huge.

"You'll suffocate me!" I screeched, breathless with laughter. "GET OFF!"

"Not until you tell me how manly I am." His voice sounded muffled. My head was pressed into an arm rest so I couldn't really hear much. My ribs hurt from laughing to hard.

"Manly?" I giggled. I'm giggling now? There's something wrong with me.

"YES." He said ruthlessly.

"Uh…you're so manly that Emmett has to change his tampon every time he looks at you!"

His weight shifted. "What?" he asked incredulously. "That doesn't even make sense!"

"It sounded good!" I shot back.

"It has to make sense." He commanded.

"Oh, god." More giggling on my part. "You're so manly that…Emmett has to change his DIAPER every time he looks at you!" I wriggled in anticipation of free movement. Every part of me was falling asleep.

"You have to come up with something original." He pressed on irritatingly.

"I can't!" I squeaked.

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening reached my squashed ears.

"Hey, gu—" came the voice of my mom. Then: "What the HELL is going on in here?"


	4. Chapter 4

Her eyes flicked back and forth between us in a way that made me want to dissolve into the couch.

He was sitting on my _back_. What possible sex position does that resemble? Come on, Mom.

"Uh. Hey." This was Jake. I noticed that the appearance of my mother did not persuade him to get off me at ALL. My entire being was going to be asleep for a week. I was going to have to suffer that awful pins and needles feeling for ages.

"I'm really curious to know what's going on." Her voice sounded kind of amused, which made it all the more embarrassing. "Jake, can you get up?" I squeaked pitifully.

"What?" he blurted, as if he forgot he was using me as an ass rest. "Oh, right. Sorry."

He got himself up by pushing against my legs for leverage. I shrieked in pain, but then the pressure of his body was gone and it was sweet relief. Mom had responded to my shriek in typical mom fashion, zooming to my side and patting my head soothingly. "Did he hurt you?" she asked, sounding kinda scary. As if I wasn't half vampire and practically indestructible, at least when it came to werewolves sitting on me.

"My back sorta hurts," I whimpered pitifully, just for good measure. "I think Jake gave me scoliosis." That last part didn't even make sense, which is how my mom knew I was fine. She rolled her eyes and gave a little warning look to Jake, who was standing near the couch aimlessly.

"Please try not to hurt each other." She said. "Renesmee's too young to lose a limb." Nice, Mom.

"Bella." Soothing voice. It was Grandpa Carlisle. I turned to look at him because seeing him always made me feel calm. He gave Mom a quick kiss on the cheek as she exited the room. She was probably going to read.

"Hello, Jake, Nessie." He greeted us. Ok, imagine the nicest, kindest guy to ever live ever. Then times his niceness by 1,000, and you'll have Grandpa Carlisle. He's the biggest sweetheart.

Jake's eyes grew tender when he looked at him. Years ago, Jake was almost killed in a fight with a newborn vampire, and Carlisle saved him by resetting all his broken bones before they could heal weirdly and pierce him somewhere important, like his liver. Werewolves can take a lot, but that would kill him. Apparently, Carlisle worked on him for hours to ensure his survival.

"Hey, Doc." Jake said, clapping him on the shoulder affectionately. Carlisle responded by formally touching Jake's arm in the way 300+ year old people do. We heard a buzzing sound. Carlisle pulled his phone out of his pocket. He scanned the text that someone had sent him and gasped.

Carlisle looked up, his face anguished. His buttery eyes were grim. "What's wrong?" I asked, panicked.

"It's your father." Carlisle said in a strained voice. "He lost an arm."


	5. Chapter 5

He lost an _arm? _

Yes, since my dad is a vampire, his limb can most probably be reattached. But there is also a slight possibility that it could be mangled beyond reattachment. Not to mention that he is probably in terrible pain. _Oh, Daddy._

Carlisle told Mom, and all of us raced out to where Edward and Alice had been hunting. It was about 60 miles out, but we reached it in 20 minutes. Well, _they_ reached it. I clung to Jake's wolf back because I'm not nearly as fast as everyone else. The fastest is…my dad.

How could he possibly have lost his arm? He must have gotten in a fight, but he's a mind reader so any fight should be easy for him.

I look through the brush at Mom, running at high speed. She can't cry, but her face is scrunched in worry. I gulped, trying to hold back a sob.

When we reach the clearing, Dad is laid out on the grass, and Alice is leaning over him, carefully holding a short, white object; an arm, broken at the elbow. It was more shocking than gruesome, because vampires have no blood and therefore there wasn't a mess.

I leap off Jake's back and follow Mom and the others as we rush over to them. Dad's face is twisted in pain, but he looks more annoyed than anything. I feel a rush of relief.

Alice spat on the forearm a couple times, and then pressed it against the stump of the top half of Dad's arm. His lips pull back in a snarl as a low hiss emits from the limbs. A low, gross sucking sound follows, and then Dad's arm is whole again. **((Author's Note: For those who read The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, this is the accurate way to reattach vampire limbs, according to Meyer. Just clearing that up.))**

Mom has his head cradled against her chest. I run forward and plant a big fat kiss square in the middle of his forehead. Mom pulls me into the embrace, and I snuggle against her side, grabbing Dad's other hand.

"Guys," Dad sighed, "I'm fine. Even if I wasn't, I can live without an elbow. You can all calm down; it wasn't a big deal."

"Yes, it was." Jake rumbled, back to human form. I was glad he had put clothes on when I wasn't looking, even if they were just a pair of shorts. "It means you were in a fight. Who was it, Volturi?"

Dad chuckles as if the idea is preposterous. The implication chills me to my core. I remember the Volturi, and they are as terrifying as terrifying gets. I didn't want them messing with us ever again.

"No, it wasn't." Dad reassures us. "It was just some crazy fool. You know how some of them are. He was old, I could tell. Probably just looking for a fight."

Jake looked around, vigilant. I could tell someone else was looking for a fight. But Dad's attacker was probably long gone.

There was one matter he hadn't cleared up yet. "How did you not hear his thoughts?"

All eyes zeroed in on him for an answer.

"I was just…eating. I was lost in blood." It was a dark statement, but we all understood. Sometimes, the thrill of the hunt and the thirst drowns out all else and makes us simple minded and feral. Dad, as always, looked clean and unruffled after eating. I don't know how he does it. Mom and I always wear crappy clothes because we are guaranteed to make a huge mess.

Dad rose, pulling Mom and I up with him. He seemed fine.

"Can we go home, now?" he asked, not enjoying the attention. Then, in a subtle gesture, he kissed Alice on the top of her head and murmured thank you. She stuck her tongue out at him playfully.

Everyone else was geared up to go, but being out here reminded me that I was pretty thirsty myself. My throat had been mildly burning for a couple of days, but I had never been bothered by it until now.

"Guys, I'm gonna stay back and get something to eat."

"Somebody has to stay with you." Mom and Dad said rigidly and simultaneously. God, they were a match made in heaven. They were referring to the crazy guy who was running around ripping people's arms off for no reason. I was probably no match for his power.

"I'll stay with her." Jake volunteered, patting his stomach, "I'm kind of starving, anyway. I only had five bowls of cereal for breakfast this morning." I snorted a laugh.

"Stay with her, dog." Dad said, rolling his eyes. Then the four of them disappeared in a flash. Literally.

I turned to Jake, who was still rubbing his stomach absentmindedly. I waited for him to go wolf. That was our cue for beginning a hunt. Despite our awkwardness in the past weeks, he had always been my best hunting buddy.

"So, uh…what are you hungry for?" he asked. What was with the inane small talk?

"I don't know," I replied, "We'll just see what's available. No babies, though. Or bunnies. I like bunnies." I had only ever had a rabbit once, because killing and drinking them was so unfulfilling and a total waste of a cute thing.

"Okie dokie." Jake nodded, and then began to shake like a maraca. I turned away as he pulled off his clothes (so they wouldn't get ruined) and changed.

A low rumbly growl indicated that he was now a wolf. I nodded at him, and then began to stalk quietly into the trees. I was never one for the element of surprise.

The wind changed direction, and a tangy smell reached my nose. My throat burned with want. It smelled like a large elk, up the side of the mountain. The thirst overtook me and I started to leap quickly up the slope, practically panting. The thunder of the ground below me told me that Jake was following close behind.

About half a mile up, I saw it. The elk was huge, and scared. His head was lowered, antlers in a defensive position. Feeling slightly bad, I ran up and punched him in his large neck, paralyzing him but not killing him. That's the best way to do it, because after they're dead there's hardly any blood flow. I wished I could make it quick and painless, but that was never the case.

The elk moaned mournfully as I sank my teeth into his flank. I drained him quickly.

With the elk lying dead at my side, I wiped the blood from my chin and patted his head. "I'm sorry." I said, feeling absolutely horrible, as I always did. "I hope you go to elk-heaven."

I was completely bloated to the point of discomfort, so I sat back, unmoving, and looked over my shoulder at Jake, who had taken down another elk. I had to look away almost immediately. Unlike us, werewolves actually EAT their prey, which makes for quite a disgusting show of blood and guts.

I laid down and rested my head against the roots. Not exactly comfy, but whatever. After about twenty minutes, Jake came bounding back down, his tongue lolling in contentment. Despite the dried blood in his fur, he still looked pretty adorable, with his fuzzy ears all pricked up.

We found the nearby stream to wash in. I rinsed my face, because my clothes were a lost cause. Jake hopped into the running water, getting thoroughly clean and de-grossified.

Jake (still in wolf form because he hadn't gotten his shorts back yet) returned to the clearing. I turned away as Jake changed back and put on his shorts.

From behind, his hand rested on my shoulder, which scared me a little because I wasn't expecting it. He plopped on the grass, tugging me down with him. We were silent. I kicked my sneakers together, bored.

"We should probably be getting back." I said, after about five minutes of nothingness had passed.

"Nah. We were pretty quick; we have time."

"O-kay." I responded doubtfully.

Slowly, Jake pulled me against him. Embarrassed but unwilling to move, I leaned my head into the crook of his shoulder boldly. His chin rested on top of my head, breath softly blowing against my hair.

As far as embraces go, it was pretty platonic, but my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. And I knew then that I wasn't just attracted to Jake. I was in love with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Jake and I sat in the clearing for a long time. Sitting on the hard ground was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, and the more time passed, the more I was jonesing for a shower, but I endured, even though Jake was getting pretty ripe himself.

We didn't talk much at first, but it was companionable silence. But it wasn't long before I could sense some tension in Jake.

"What's wrong?" I asked as he growled for the millionth time.

"I think your dad was lying when he said it was just some crazy old vamp that ripped his arm off." he said, making my heart freeze. What reason would Dad have to lie?

"Why do you think that?" I asked, trying not to seem harsh and accusatory.

"Because there are no vamp scents anywhere near here that I don't recognize." He said. "I would have picked that up a mile away. I just didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone."

I felt a little thrill that he trusted me enough to confide this in me. But I was also disturbed. Again, why would he lie? I felt that it would be pointless to ask Jake this, because he might have just gotten snarky.

Now that Jake mentioned the scent thing though, I wondered if everyone else hadn't noticed it. jake undoubtedly had the best sense of smell, so he was keen to that kind of stuff more than anyone, but still. Maybe they weren't looking for a different smell and therefore just assumed Dad was telling the truth.

All I could be assured of was that it wasn't the Volturi. But Dad still lost his arm, and that was pretty serious. I didn't pick up on any wolf scents, either, and the Pack wouldn't do something like that anyway. There was a faint stench of something tangy and musky in the wind, but it could have been anything. I stored it in my brain for later on. I didn't know of any other creatures that could rip a vampires arm off, and quickly enough that Dad wasn't able to read their thoughts.

"Maybe we should go back," I said, uneasy.

As soon as we walked in the door, Dad leapt up from his spot on the piano. He must have heard our thoughts from a mile away. He grabbed hold of our shoulders and steered us back outside. He power walked us to his and moms cabin and slammed the large wooden door.

"Ew." Jake said obnoxiously, "Do we really have to hang out in your little sex nest?" Jake could never be serious. Edward ignored the comment.

"I'm sorry. I had to lie." He hissed. We stared at him questioningly. "What was it?" I asked timidly.

Dad closed his eyes, looking aged. "It was a werewolf."

No, it couldn't have been," I responded automatically, "Jake's pack—"

But then I remembered something.

"Jake's a shape shifter, Nessie. Not a werewolf."

Jake growled at Dad, lurching forward to grab his collar. Dad glared, unfazed. I gulped.

"He could have killed you, you fucking leech." Jake grumbled, "Why didn't you tell us?"

I know how it sounds, but Jake's crudeness was justified. He loved my dad like a brother. He would protect him to the ends of the earth.

"Hand off, Jacob," Dad said coolly. "He was a child, like Nessie." Dad called me a child in front of Jake. "Would you kill a child that couldn't control himself?"

Jake's grip on Dad's shirt fell away. Jake knew fully well what it was like not to be able to control oneself. He was probably thinking of when Sam lost control and scarred Emily.

But Dad must have seen the red alarms going off over our heads because he said something very scary:

"Don't tell Bella."

That wasn't a good sign.

"Yet." He finished.

Jake gave a hollow laugh. "Yeah, right. We won't tell her but unless she got body snatched Bella will know something's wrong from a mile away."

True. Dad gave him a look. "Well, I'd prefer her not to hear it out of either of yours mouths."

He then looked at me, imploring. "Nessie, darling, please don't tell your mother. And try not to touch her so that she finds out by accident. That means no hugs."

Aww, I like hugs, though, and mom hugs were the best. "Can I have a hug from you?" I teased. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his lavender scent and his aura of love and kindness. I pressed my head against his chest, reassuring myself that he was ok and he wouldn't get hurt again, at least not on my watch.

I pulled away when Jake made an impatient noise. "Can I have a hug too?" he asked jokingly and wolfishly. There was still a note of tension in his voice. I blushed as Dad gave him the dad-finger.

"Are you coming back with us?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Can you tell Alice to meet me out here? I'm still quite thirsty."

"Lemonade?" Jake asked, miming sipping a straw. We left, and some of the darkness returned to his face.

"What's wrong?" I inquired, slightly peeved about his mood swings.

"It's Ed." He sighs, "The guy's too nice. He could have at least, like held the wolf kid hostage or something."

"I don't think he has that jurisdiction." I reply, joking and serious at the same time.

"But doesn't that seem like the smart thing to do? To try to get more information?" Jake growled in exasperation. "Instead he just let him go scot free."

"He was missing an arm!" I say indignantly. "If you were there you would have killed him, so don't act like you would be a Good Samaritan or anything."

"The only person I would kill another being for," Jake tossed out, "Is you."


	7. Author's Note

THIS IS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE. NOT A CHAPTER. SORRY.

I would just like to thank everyone who is reading this. I wasn't sure about the reception it would get, but I am pleasantly surprised. Thank you to all the commenters. RL, whoever you are, thank you for maintaining your honest opinion throughout and for telling me when it sucks. I really do appreciate it, no sarcasm intended. THANK YOU PEOPLE.

Also, would anyone like for me to write a chapter from Jake's POV? It is a special treat that will only happen if I get at least 5 more reviews, either for the story itself or from peeps wanting a Jake POV. That's the way it works, y'all. And the reviews can be anonymous, because I love the anonymous people as for many years I was one, and I hated it when people required you to be a member to be a commenter. Thank you people. FYI, there will still be regular chapters, so it's not like I will refuse to update if I don't get requests for the Jake thing.


	8. Chapter 8

"…my dad, Edward, Bella, and the pack. So I guess you're right. If I was there, I would kill him."

I stepped back, shocked. How could he be so callous? He was angry, that was why. I hoped.

"Dad said that wolf was innocent; he didn't know what he was doing." My voice cracked, "How could you even say that?"

Jake glared at me. "It would be a mercy killing. What makes you think it would learn to control itself? It has the instincts of an animal. Don't you think that kid would rather be dead than kill someone?"

"Sam attacked someone too!" I screamed, tears now flying down my face. "Would you say he was unable to control himself _now? _Maybe someone should have just killed him the first time he lost control!"

Suddenly I was in the dirt, my face being pressed into the ground. I was inhaling mud through my nose and mouth, barely able to breathe. Jake's hand was a vice around my neck. This wasn't playful like earlier. My survival instincts kicked into overdrive, telling me to kill the predator that was threatening my life. I snarled gutturally and lashed out with my arms and legs.

"_DON"T EVER SAY THAT!" _the predator roared in my ears. "Sam got mad, he-"

I was up, tearing at the predator with my hands. It held up its arms defensively. I rammed it into the ground. It thrashed, so I sank my teeth into its chest and it moaned in pain. Streams of sour blood filled my mouth, and I spat it out in disgust. My mind told me it wasn't prey.

I stared into its eyes to make it submissive. Dark brown, almost black orbs leveled with mine.

The trance broke. I was staring at Jake, not an enemy. I had hurt Jake. Quickly, I leaped off him and tore off my shirt to create a tourniquet to wrap around the wound on his right pec. It was practically gushing. An ordinary animal's bite to Jake would heal within a minute. A vampire bite was different. Full, and some half-vampire, bites wouldn't turn him; they would instead poison and kill him. Thankfully, Carlisle had tested that I wasn't venomous, so Jake wouldn't be poisoned. However, the bite was deep, and it wouldn't heal properly. I prayed I hadn't snagged an artery. As a baby, I bit Jake all the time, but now that I was older my strength was more potent.

He looked like he was getting light headed. The blood wasn't as plentiful as it had seemed, for which I was grateful.

"Jake," I said shakily, brushing back hair from his forehead, "I am so, so, so sorry. Don't worry about forgiving me. Ever. I did something terrible."

He sat up and grimaced. "I'm fine. And I shouldn't have attacked you. I was being unreasonable."

I was so happy that he was ok that I slapped him square across the face. He made a noise in surprise.

"You were being unreasonable." I agreed. "And an asshole." It was true. "Now go back to the house, you murderous brat, so Grandpa can stitch you up."

I sounded horrible and bitter. But how could Jake be so mean as to have no qualms about killing an innocent?

I ran toward the big white house as fast as I could. I am the baby of the household. I reserved the right to be a brat when I was born, okay?

I was sure my Dad had seen it, and probably had taken Jake's side, considering I had attacked him like a lunatic, when all he did was shove my face into the ground after plotting a murder.

Okay, my sarcastic side comes out at the most inappropriate times.

Mom must have heard me racing noisily through the thicket because she came out to meet me.

"What happened?" she asked, gripping my arm to steady me. Then she sniffed, saw the blood on my mouth, and her eyes slatted angrily. I braced myself for the lecture.

"What did he do to you?" she asked instead, shocking me. She was taking MY side? That made me feel a little bad.

"Nothing really," I said honestly, "he was just being an immature brat, and I attacked him in an unwarranted fashion."

I guess she figured he must have done something really bad to get a bite. Or she thought we were having rough sex.

She wrapped a soft arm around my shoulders. I liked that Mom wasn't bone thin like SOME vampires. I couldn't resist cuddling into her. I really love hugs. I don't know why.

A very familiar stench reached our noses. The person in question, Jacob Black, trudged toward us, looking pissed. The bite on his chest looked gross and purpley, so I felt awash in guilt. He was giving me the king of all death glares, completely ignoring mother-daughter protocol of treating the daughter respectfully in front of the mother. "You slapped me!" he raged.

"I also attacked and bit you, but apparently that's all fun and games." I quipped meanly. What was it with him that he always latched on to what wasn't important?

Mom sighed heavily. I have heard stories. She and Jake had had their share of physical altercations in the past. He did have a tendency to be infuriating. "Jake, what did you do?"

Jake explained bashfully. Mom's arm tightened fractionally around me as it progressed. We were both in for a lecture, I suspected. At the end, she clapped her hands together authoritatively.

"First of all, _Jake,_ you need to stop being a guileless idiot. Second of all, _Renesmee_, you need to control your anger and not eat the dog. Got it? I think you two should spend some time apart. Geez, what happened to yesterday when you guys were all buddy-buddy?" Honestly, Mom, I have no idea.

Maybe it changed because I realized that I am totally, completely, passionately in love with a harebrained idiot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Jake's POV**

Nessie was being _difficult_, as per usual. Guess where she got that attribute from? She was the perfect little rolled up combination of Ed and Bella. It drove me nuts.

Suffice to say, the few days after the incident were awkward, and that's putting it mildly. She apologized for attacking me. Actually, I wasn't really mad about that. It was kind of hot; in a primal, dangerous sort of way. A total turn on. As if I needed any more incentive to get turned on by Nessie.

But she was still kind of pissing me off.

Half the Cullens were on her side, and half were on my side. Bella and Ed were on her side, not just because she's their precious daughter but also because they are both goody two shoes were shocked by my vehement cruelty as it pertained to my views on the werewolf cub. I wasn't wrong. Alice, Carlisle, and Esme were also on Nessie's side. The ones on my side were Emmett, Rose, and Jasper. As much as I hated having the brainless blonde vouching for me, I appreciated the support, however bloodthirsty the intentions.

To tell the truth (and I tried to tell Ness this, she just doesn't listen), I didn't have any plans to search for the wolf cub, and the only way I would hurt it is if it came after any of us again. If he or she came by and was all "let's be friends yo", I'd totally be up for it. But now Ness and the kinder branch of the Cullen family think I'm a loose cannon. Thank God I'm still allowed in the house. I don't know what I would do without all that fantastic cooking.

No, the cooking isn't it…well maybe a tiny part. 99.9% of the reason I'm over there all the time is because I love those bloodsuckers. Their goodness radiates out of every pore. They make me feel happy and welcome and loved in a way the pack sets conditions for. The vamps aren't relying on me, and they have no reason to be kind to me, just that they are out of the kindness of their non-beating hearts.

No matter how frustrated I am with her, I love seeing Nessie's healthy, glowing face every day. I love her, I really do, and not just because the imprint forces me too. I WANT to be friends with her, to love her, and I know that my feelings are my own. I hope she will be able to forgive me, because it's not in my nature to admit that I'm wrong. I gotta keep up appearances, ya know?

Bella has been sneaking glances at me every now and then. I know it's not all about this whole mess. She knows that Ness is growing _fast. _The doc estimates she'll be fully grown in just under two months. She knows that my hormones have been raging. Hell, I'm even thinking of stealing a kiss from Bella herself, as weird as that sounds. Just kidding, those days are long gone. There's only one girl on my mind that I want to satiate my need for.

All joking aside, it's getting bad. Ness ain't my little sister no more. When she called me her uncle the other day…I almost had a coronary. How can she think I'm mature enough to be her uncle? My maturity is probably half my actual age.

I'm babbling. It's what I do when I'm stressed, or pissed. Normally I babble and vent to Seth, but I have no idea where the hell he is. So my lazy ass is just moping around this big white house. They're all watching me with those creepy eyes, like they think I'm going to snap.

Bells recently confronted me, hands on hips, head cocked to the side. I really didn't feel like a lecture right then, or a pleasant conversation, or even a simple hello.

'What." I said, but I already knew.

She let out a harsh laugh. "Jake, you're incredible. You managed to make Nessie, who's been predisposed to love you since the day she was born, hate you. How do you do it?"

I rolled my eyes. Blah blah blah. "You know me," I replied sarcastically.

"I do know you," she continued frustratingly, "and I know how no matter you try to hide them, your emotions are always plain as day on your face."

Whatever. That's so not true. But you gotta let Bella talk or she'll get violent.

"Are you going somewhere with this?" I asked, treading in dangerous territory.

She sighed. She is such a mom. "Nessie is frustrated because she looks up to you, and everyone makes mistakes, but you can't admit that you're wrong, so suddenly you're like an immature little kid in her eyes."

"And she's not?" I asked, suddenly fired up. "She attacked me!"

"Yeah, after you attacked her." Bella rolled her eyes again. You would think a mom would be more worried about her kid, but she knew that for the most part Ness could take care of herself. She's half vampire, for cryin' out loud. She could be 1/10 vamp and still be able to lift a car.

"I'm just saying that you need to see where your priorities lie. I mean, Ness and you are supposed to get along, and if you play your cards right, you could be my son in law someday." Her mouth twitched at the old joke. I couldn't help cracking a smile myself, even though the implication was a lot different now that Ness wasn't a toddling kid anymore.

"I'll leave you to yourself," she said abruptly, because Bells has always been terrible at ending conversations.

I did need some time to think. And who better to think with than the mind reader himself? I didn't feel like talking, and with him I wouldn't need to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello, people! Yes, I am sure there is some confusion about the werewolf thing. To clarify for those that don't remember or blocked it from their minds, according to Stephenie Meyer there are shifters (Jake and the pack) and then there are REAL werewolves. The kid that attacked Edward was a real werewolf. Yes, I think it is stupid, but it's Steph's world and alas, I must stay true to it. Thank you for reading you guys have no idea how much I appreciate the support! Here comes more Jake!**

**MORE JAKE POV**

For those idiots that didn't catch on, the mind reader I mentioned is none other than Edward himself. He's definitely my pal, but we've had our share of verbal tussles in the past, and I may or may not be gearing up for one of them right now. Although mental tussle might be more like it.

He was playing the piano as usual. He looked so peaceful, eyes closed, hands fluttering over the ivory keys like the musical genius that he is. I almost didn't want to disturb him.

I planted myself on the piano bench next to him. I sat gingerly, because I felt like Edward plus my considerable bulk would break the damn thing. As I thought this, a wry smile passed over his face.

Okay, let me tell you, that whole mind reading thing? Totally annoying. But it's not like he can really help it, so I'm forced to forgive him.

I thought about how angry I was when he was hurt, how bitter I was as a result of Nessie's resentment, how bad I felt after slamming her into the ground, how turned on I was when she bit me…

At that, a little growl emanated from Edward's throat. Oops, kind of forgot who my audience was there. I thought back a rapid fire apology, and he grunted. Have you ever heard Ed grunting? It sounds like the tweet of a bird.

"So," he murmured, "What exactly is your reason for annoying me?" He was kidding, I think.

_Well…she's your_ _daughter. _I thought. _You know her well enough._ _How do you think I should go about this?_

"I cannot believe you didn't ask one of the many women in this household," he said with slight amusement, "I don't know much about the inner workings of a female mind."

_Really? That sounds like a lie. Isn't that your job, to know the inner workings of EVERYONES mind?_

"I know the outer workings. I know how they verbally express inner workings. And I am not constantly tuning in to the network of minds, as you seem to believe."

_Well, your wife kind of confronted me about it, so I did talk to a female, albeit unwillingly. And she wasn't much help. At all._

He chuckled. "Jacob, you are being cowardly. Why don't you simply talk to Nessie herself? She would be mortified if her father got in the midst of an argument between the two of you. Trust me."

That was basically a dismissal.

"In that case, Daddy," came a familiar, lilting voice, "I am already mortified."

I leapt to my feet like I was caught doing something naughty. Nessie was literally standing right behind Ed, and I am 100% sure that he had known for ages. I was definitely out of my element if I couldn't detect her. I glared at Ed, with his crooked smirk and sly eyes.

I could feel the intensity of Nessie's gaze like a hot poker pressed into my skin. Slowly, I swiveled around to look at her. Hands on her hips, legs spread in a fighting stance, brown eyes narrowed…gee, who does that remind me of?

"Going to my dad, eh?" All kidding aside, her voice really did hold pangs of hurt and anger. I immediately felt guilty. I wanted to ask Ed how bad she hated me right now, but it seemed completely inappropriate.

"Can we take this outside?" I asked sheepishly. There were many pairs of eyes watching us.

She silently trod out through the kitchen and the back entrance. I dragged my steps, hoping to appear sorrowful and ashamed, which I was.

I realized that part of Renesmee's bitterness might have been from the chewing out she received from Ed. He had kind of told her not to tell Bella, and especially not to hug her. Then, what does Nessie do the minute Bella comes to the rescue? Gives her a hug. Then Bella cornered Edward and gave him a tongue lashing of her own for not being entirely honest. Frankly, I should have taken some of the blame since I full out explained what had happened to Ed to Bella literally five minutes after he asked me not to. Yeahhhh. That probably wasn't smart.

Nessie looked so…conflicted. I really honest-to-goodness felt terrible about the whole thing. Despite the fact that she's a raging bloodsucker who feeds on large animals, she is a very kind soul who cares about people and things and animals and stuff.

I watched as she frustratingly shoved all that curly red hair away from her forehead. Her eyes were dark and deep against her flawless pale skin. They were accentuated by the twin spots of flaming red on her cheeks. Her lips were rosy pink and soft, twisted in anger.

The urge to touch her made me weak at the knees. I felt a rush of emotion that made my head tingle and my toes curl. My heart became heavy in my chest.

"Jake," she said wearily, "I have to tell you something."

"Yeah", I said, resolved. "So do i."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry, guys! It's been like a month, I think. I've been busy. I've been working on several novels and this was pushed to the back of my head, as far as importance went. **

_Nessie POV_

Jakes expression was intense to the point that it scared me. He looked…angry. I gulped. My words came out garbled.

"Uh…I think we should stay away from each other from now on." I looked down because I couldn't face him. "obviously…we can't agree on anything, and it's gotten…violent."

This was absolutely true, and even practical, but the wrenching pain in my chest tried to convince me otherwise. My newfound feelings for him scared the hell out of me, and I was sure, given some time, they would just reveal themselves to be puppy love that I worked myself up for nothing over.

Jake's tense shoulders relaxed. "I…I was actually about to say the same thing," he sighed. My heart twisted painfully again, but the numbness of my mind overruled. _This is for the best, _I silently repeated over and over in my head.

Jake pushed a callused hand through his shaggy hair. "I'm sorry, Renesmee. It's complicated. Someday, I promise I will explain why I've been acting so weird, but for now I need to do some…soul searching, I guess."

We looked at each other mournfully. My words told him we needed to avoid each other, but I assumed he would stay around the house, annoying my parents and taking advantage of our wide screen TV. His words told me goodbye. You don't generally "soul search" in a house full of vampires you've known for years.

The awkward silence in the room reached its climax. Jake silently turned and walked away. I stayed where I was, feeling like an utter idiot. I made things seem ten times worse than they actually were. In the parlor, Dad's piano playing suddenly stopped. He must have detected Jake's thoughts. I heard the two of them speak in hushed voices that I told myself didn't care enough to understand. Moments later I heard the front door click shut, and the house was plunged into silence.

I wasn't surprised when half the family suddenly materialized in front of me, golden eyes boring into mine.

"What?" I asked coolly, trying to act like whatever had just happened was no big deal. Alice's eyes narrowed. I wondered if she could "see" this coming for days.

Mom came barreling through the cluster of people. Her mouth gaped open slightly, but not in a funny way. Her expression clearly said "What did you DO?"

Shit.

**Hey, sorry it's so short. It's basically just a teaser to keep everyone going until I can find the time to continue. It shouldn't be too much longer but…**

**I'm assuming everyone hated this. Don't worry. It will get better.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Guys! It's been foreverrrrrrr! I AM SO SORRY! I promise nothing like that will ever happen again!**

_Three weeks later_

I haven't been sleeping.

Every time my head hits the pillow I dream about Jake. Most are heart wrenching, leaving me in tears. Others are bittersweet, memories of the good times we had before I reached puberty and everything became awkward. Some are so intimate I wake up blushing and feeling empty. They all share one similarity: being so realistic that I wake up thinking he's still here. So for the past two weeks I have been wandering around in a zombielike state, resolved to stay awake. I've developed a potent case of insomnia. A few times I have collapsed to the floor, unconscious before the impact of hitting the ground jerks me awake. Dad tentatively follows me around, trying to coax me into resting. Mom refuses to speak to me because of what she deems as "destructive behavior." _Not that destructive. _Since I'm not fully human, my body doesn't depend on sleep as much.

But that doesn't mean I haven't suffered the repercussions. Hunting is a chore, since I am sluggish and fatigued. Everybody is too smart to feel sympathetic toward me (since everything that happened was my fault) so they don't attempt to help my catch my food. I've become a coffee addict, even though I think it tastes like crap. I have lost weight in places that I didn't have a lot of feminine weight to begin with. I now have the body of an androgynous ten year old.

It is the exact three week anniversary of the incident. I hate myself for acting like a foolish brat. I _need _him here. As annoying as our arguing was, I feel empty without it. It feels wrong not seeing him lounging on the sofa, an arm thrown across his face as he snores like a wild bear. I feel like crying when I don't see him raiding the fridge and stealing all my favorite foods at least ten times a day. The worst of all is that I can't smell sharp, pleasant wolfy aroma in the house. I didn't realize until now how much I took his presence for granted. He and the wolves were my only peers in my life. My family always encouraged me to visit town and find some friends, but I never found the need when I could wrestle with Seth and listen to Leah make snide comments (which isn't as annoying as you might think.) It seemed now was the time to head out on my own and acquire some human friends.

The only one at home was Dad. He was reading an old, dog eared book. I snuck up to him and told him I was going into town. He looked up at me, surprised. He had a wry, disbelieving smile on his face.

"Are you sure? There's really…nothing to do there. I can take you to Port Angeles. I understand there's some lovely shopping there." As if Dad would know anything about that. He must have been really bored for him to offer to drive me to a faraway locale like that, anyway.

"No, I'm fine with Forks." I insisted.

" Okayyy…would you like a ride? So you don't exert yourself? Are you feeling alright?" his hand shot out so he could feel my forehead for a temperature, or lack thereof. They used to do that to me all the time when I was younger and they were still worried the mix of vamp and human blood might make me sickly.

"I'm fine. And I'll accept a ride." I grinned for the first time in days. "On one condition."

He smiled slowly, having a clue where I was getting at. "And what would that be?"

"Make it a piggyback ride."

I had fun. Riding on the back of any vamp is always terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It's like riding in a convertible with the top down at 60 miles an hour. We stopped in a shaded area behind a building in downtown. I climbed down from Dad's back and he wrapped me in a hug, which made me feel five million times better. No matter what happened in my love life, I was reassured knowing the one boy who I could always depend on to love me no matter what was my Dad. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes when I recalled how close we could have been to losing him when the werewolf cub attacked him. He was an awesome guy who treated all the women in his life like they were one of a kind.

Mom was so lucky to have him. "Why can't all guys be like you?" I inquired aloud.

Dad chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "Not all guys have a woman like Esme for a mother."

See what I mean?

I assured him I would be ok a million times and that I wouldn't pass out in the middle of a sidewalk and that I would call home when I wanted to be picked up before he finally left me alone.

Unsure of what to do or where to go, I simply walked along a street that had a diner and some miscellaneous mom and pop stores on it. There weren't any teenagers, or really any people, to talk to. I wandered aimlessly, thinking this was a pointless venture, until I came upon a library.

It was small and probably not very well stocked, but I entered anyway and approached the front desk. The building had a few aisles, and a few cozy nooks and crannies in which to sit and read, as well as a row of computers and a few shelves of DVD's. The selection of books didn't look very promising, but it would be nice to have a place to hang out.

"Hello." I greeted the woman at the computer behind the desk. She turned around to look at me, then gave me a startled look. She was a plump, red haired woman with glasses.

"Hello!" she smiled curiously. "I'm sorry…but you look _extremely_ similar to someone I know."

_Crap. _Having rarely been into the town itself, I had never really thought about people recognizing me from how much I looked like Dad. And if this woman ever met him, there was no way she would forget him, so I wondered how I was going to explain this one.

I decided not to. "I have one of those faces, I guess." I smiled. "I'd like to sign up for a library card."

She continued to look at me inquisitively, but reached for a pen and pad. "Ok, I need your name, address, and phone number."

I told her my last name was Mason, which was Dad's last name when he was human. I figured there was no harm giving her our address since no one at our house had a card in the system anyway.

She entered me into the computer and made me a handwritten card from a stock of laminated, coded cards on the desk.

"I know who you look like now!" she suddenly exclaimed, pointing at me. "Edward Cullen! I used to be the high school receptionist when he went there, before I retired. Are you related to him?"

_Double crap! _She would think it wasn't possible for me to be his daughter, since he wasn't yet LEGALLY 23, and I didn't look five years old. "Yes, I'm his…niece."

She reached out to shake my hand. "Oh, it's great to meet you. I'm Miss Cope." She leaned back inher swivel chair; hand on her chest, a blissful expression on her face. "Lord, Edward was the best looking young man I ever saw at that school, and so polite. I remember he got married a few years back, to the police chief's daughter—do they have any kids yet?"

This situation just kept getting worse and worse. I had no idea what to say, since my parents might have spread a different story around town and I didn't want to confirm or deny everything.

"It's a secret." I joked, hoping she would leave the matter alone.

"Ok." She laughed awkwardly.

"Well, it was nice to meet you. I'll tell Da-Uncle Ed I saw you." That pleased her. "I'm just gonna browse, if that's ok."

"That's fine," she said vaguely, already losing interest. "I hope you find a good book."

"Thanks," I called back, already halfway across the tiny building.

I scanned the shelves without really looking at them. It took me a minute to realize I was in the self-help section. _I could use some of that_, I thought half-jokingly. But I wandered away.

A young woman with curly brown hair was holding the hand of a very blond toddler boy in the kids section. She was short, even shorter than me, and she was pretty, with big blue eyes, but she also looked kind of frazzled. I was unnerved when I realized that I was barely any older than the little boy.

"Pick out a book, Mikey." She said. She sounded…happy, like the little boy was her world, not just a parental obligation. He had a sweet, angelic face under that silky blond hair. I neglected saying hello to them in case she ended up being someone else my parents knew back in the old days.

********JAKE POV*****************

The girl in my arms was beautiful, even when I compared her to the vampire girls I knew. She was tall and slender, but large where she needed to be. Her dark curls cascaded down her shoulders. Every other male in the bar had been drooling over her all night. Except me. And I couldn't think why, because she was drop dead gorgeous. She should have been able to stir SOMETHING in me, at least. I picked her up as the night grew late and the bar started to empty out. She was a little tipsy, and so was I, and the fact that I had enough alcohol to give me even the slightest buzz meant that I seriously had a problem. Luckily, I looked old enough that no one had carded me, since I left my wallet back at the motel. I had come to the bar with a fifty in my back pocket and all I had left was a ten.

"Come back to my place." The girl—Vanessa? Veronica?—implored, looking up at me from beneath her long lashes.

I wanted to, but only so I could discover if I was capable of feeling anything resembling pleasure with anyone besides that skinny red haired brat.

The girl pressed her hips into mine, and finding that I wasn't even slightly turned on, leapt back haughtily. "You sure you're at the right bar?" she asked, her voice sounding harsh.

She thought I was gay. And I might as well be, considering there was only one person I would ever be attracted to again. And I realized I didn't care what she thought.

"I guess I am." I sighed, detangling myself from the embrace. I felt bad for the girl, since she had told me earlier how excited she was to sleep with me. Oh, well.

I walked away, feeling like a sack of shit. I looked at my watch and realized it was now early morning. My motel was right around the corner, and the small, uncomfortable bed sounded like heaven.

When I opened the door to my room and flicked on the light, I discovered there was already a body sized lump on my bed. I picked up the musky smell of wolf and was instantly annoyed, but also curious to see who it was this time.

"Get up!" I barked. With a groan, the lump rose slowly, and peered at me above the covers with unfocused, sleepy eyes. Collin. I had been out all day, so he probably got tired of waiting and looking for me and took a snooze

Collin had earned his place in the pack with his honor and bravery. Heck, everyone that stood up to the Volturi leeches in the field that day had earned their place. He was now older than I was when I first turned. And already he looked at least five years older than his actual age. I wondered why they had sent him. He was a member of Sam's pack and we had never been especially close.

"Where's your twin?" I asked, meaning Brady. The two cubs were not actually brothers but they were inseparable.

Collin yawned and blushed. He was probably as dumbfounded as I was about this encounter.

"Sam, uh, wants you to come home." He groggily stated the obvious, ignoring my question. "He thinks that werewolf cub is still around, leaving traces everywhere."

I groaned. I was being completely irresponsible, leaving both packs without me. I knew that. But I also knew that Leah, as my Beta wolf, was more than capable, and also swelling with pride at being left in charge. I was sure that the twenty or so wolves were also well equipped at handling one inexperienced werewolf cub. I knew the real reason Sam wanted me back; he liked having all his chickens in one coop, so to speak.

"I'm not coming back." I said for the thousandth time. I had said it to all the wolves that came looking for me in the past few weeks. I figured now it was time to leave this town, so they would take longer to find me when they decided to harass me again.

Collin made a sheepish noise. He didn't want to report home empty handed. Short of tying me up and hauling me back, his mission was fruitless.

"You might as well leave," I tried to say politely, hoping he would get the point. I was a LOT bigger than he was.

Collin yawned and stretched again, dramatically this time. I took the hint.

"Fine." I allowed begrudgingly. "You can have the bed. But in the morning, you gotta leave."

He made a sound of acknowledgement and immediately fell back asleep, snoring like a moose. I stole one of the pillows out from under his head and grabbed an extra threadbare blanket from the closet. The floor managed to look inviting.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! Did anyone guess who the curly haired chick in the library was? It should be pretty obvious. Also, does anyone want somebody ELSES pov besides these two? I kind of think it would be a lot of fun to do my boy Edward, since he kind of got snubbed on that in Breaking Dawn. I need reviews first, though.**

JAKE POV STILL

In the morning, my back ached and I had a crick in my neck like you wouldn't believe. I awoke with a groan and watched Collin bitterly. Sure, the bed sucked, but at least it was a _bed. _That _I _had _paid for._ And it's not like I had excessive funds or anything.

"Get up." I announced, when I felt like I had allowed him a reasonable amount of sleep. Collin gave a creaky yawn and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "I'm checking outta this dump. Which means you need to go home."

I checked out and walked him to the bus station. He said that was how he got here. I didn't even know where "here" was. Frankly, I didn't even know what state I was in. I just started running and ended up…somewhere. "Just out of curiosity…" I asked Collin, "What state is this?" He gave me an extremely weird look, like he thought I was a head case. Maybe I was.

"We're in Oregon," he enunciated slowly, as if I wasn't just stupid but a kindergartener as well, "About an hour north of Portland. You've gotta be kidding me. What was the point of your little vacation if you don't even know where the hell you are?"

Some vacation. "Relax," I snapped, "I know how to get back and that's all that matters. "

I sat with him while he waited for his bus. As it pulled up, he gave me one last pleading glance. I gave him a sympathetic smile and shook my head. I watched his bus pull away and left.

Running cleared my head, but I was tired of buying new clothes every couple of days, so I decided I would get a fake passport and head into Canada. The bus system would be a hell of a lot slower than running, and I could only hope that I would elude the packs successfully without being found again.

I really wasn't sure what my plan for the rest of my life was, but I knew it wasn't a good one. I was doomed to be miserable without Nessie. I couldn't blink without seeing her face in my mind.

Although Nessie was almost ethereally lovely as a kid, she is now somewhat awkward looking. She's tall and skinny, with unruly curly dark red hair, a super wide mouth just like Bella's, and Edward's stubborn chin and messy eyebrows. Her face is largely dominated by his, and he's a guy. A good looking guy, but still. While I'm sure she'll grow out of it, as the most gorgeous women in the world have all been through awkward phases, it would almost be laughable to call her pretty.

But she's so beautiful it sometimes hurts to look at her.

Thinking about her wasn't really helping my case. I tried to think of something else, like Paul in a dress, but even that disturbing picture dissolved into a gangly, coltish girl who's way too wonderful for her own good. I felt like punching something.

******NESSIE POV****************

Nothing at the library really caught my interest, so I left it soon after and continued my tour of downtown Forks. I felt kind of weird when I went to a diner by myself, but I was ravenously hungry, so I didn't care all that much. I just wanted a big, juicy burger and a heaping plate of fries.

I didn't realize how tired I was until I sat down and the waitress gave me an alarmed look. "You alright, hon?" she asked warmly. She was youngish, about thirty, but had an older, maternal air that demanded respect.

"I'm fine." She gave me a bemused look that suggested she didn't quite believe me and sauntered off to place my order. I reached for the mirrored napkin holder to catch a glimpse of myself. I didn't think I had looked _that _bad when I last looked in the mirror this morning. But I was suddenly feeling _really_ weird.

I caught a glimpse of my face in the holder. And I dropped the holder in shock.

My skin was white as a sheet, my lips cracked and colorless. My eyes were bloodshot, the skin around them purple and bruised looking. I looked like death. I looked like I hadn't had blood in over a year, although the mountain lions from the other day had been more than enough to sate my thirst for a few weeks and my throat wasn't even remotely burning. I was surprised the waitress hadn't called 911.

My strength was slipping by the minute. My breath came in short, ragged gasps. The other patrons of the diner looked over at me in concern. My waitress returned, and set a steaming mug of what smelled like herbal tea on my table. Then she took a look at me and gasped.

I jumped from my seat, left the waitress a twenty, mumbled "excuse me", and stumbled from the diner. I heard whispers about me being on drugs when I crossed the street. I whipped my phone out of my pocket and speed dialed the house.

Dad picked up before the first ring was finished. "Ness? Want me to come get you?'

I wheezed into the receiver, and heard the phone slam to the ground on the other end before I collapsed.

_Ugh. _I felt like absolute crap when I woke up. Fuzzy mouth, pounding head, overwhelming sense of nausea, the works. I forgot what had happened for a few moments, then 7 pairs of golden eyes loomed over me. The first face that came into focus was Mom's.

Her eyes were frantic and angry. She bit a trembling lip and placed a hand that was so shaky it wasn't visible to my head. I knew then that I would get a tongue lashing later.

Then I saw Dad. His teeth were gritted furiously and his hands were clenched to his sides. The rest of my family looked just as anguished. Carlisle had a stethoscope laced around his neck. And I realized I had IV's taped to me.

"You," Dad and Mom snarled simultaneously, "Are grounded."


	14. Chapter 14

**Omg guys. I am sooooooooooooo sorry. I am a senior and I've been incredibly busy with homework and college stuff. Here we go. It won't happen again. I promise.**

I was confined to total bed rest for the next week while I was fed a steady supply of human blood from the hospital bank. I wished they hadn't done that, because I knew it would be difficult to go back to elks afterward.

I lost 10 pounds in my crazy sleepless stage. Carlisle's examinations were finding worse and worse health issues with me. I sat through it all and listened to them talk as if it was happening to someone else. Low blood pressure, low white blood cell count, yada yada yada.

I can't tell you how many times Mom came into my room to snarl at me with rage about how irresponsible and clueless and all around dumb I was for letting myself get that way. I calmly reminded her of when my dad went away for 6 months when she was a human in an effort to keep her safe, and it took her weeks to even utter a word to anybody and get out of her freaky mental vegetative state. She shut up after that. I'm pretty sure I hurt her feelings. I mean, she's definitely worried about me, or she wouldn't act like such a raging lunatic.

When Dad comes to visit, his rage is more subdued, but no less deadly. I feel the anger and worry radiating off of him, hear his teeth gnawing together in an effort to compose himself. It's almost scary, and I'd much rather prefer him to bellow at me. Those eyes of his are killer.

I find it hard to admit to myself that my angst was all over a _boy._ An idiotic, semi-teenage boy. _Please. _How much lamer could I get? I was a modern, 21st century woman. I didn't need a man. Even though I was surrounded by four ridiculously happy couples at all times, I could do without that romantic dynamic. "I'm through with men," I announced to my dad while he fiddled with the ancient vinyl record player I purchased at a flea market a few months ago. I bought it mostly to appease him, because most of the music I liked didn't make vinyl, at least not compatible with such an old machine. Most of the time it sat on my shelf, collecting dust.

He turned and smiled angelically at me, "That's what every father wants to hear," he said proudly, "however, seeing as you're grounded for the next 100 years, it's not like you'd be seeing much of the opposite sex anyway." Then he returned to playing with the vinyl player he could never quite get to work. I couldn't help smiling a bit. So far each member of the family had visited me in my chambers at least 10,000 times, as I couldn't leave for more than bathroom and food breaks. I appreciated it, but I had also received so many snarky 'grounded' comments it was ridiculous.

"Thanks, Dad," I snorted, "Couldn't resist sneaking that in, could you?"

He flashed me a smile and leaned in to kiss my forehead. He then rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. I reached a hand up to pat his crazy hair.

"You've gotten so much better," he said, his voice muffled, "I was worried, darling. But I'm still going to kill Jacob when he returns." Typical Dad behavior. My little girl did nothing wrong. But she did. She tried to eat the guy she loved. I reminded him of this, but conveniently left out the whole 'loved' part, of course.

"Females are never wrong," he disagreed, "I learned this years ago."

I had to pat his cheek simply because he was so adorable and then kicked him out so I could take an intense nap. They were the only kind of naps I took these days, to catch up on all the sleep I lost during my dementia. The kind of naps where I woke up 3 hours later with my pillow covered in drool and my mouth dry as a bone. The kind of nap where I think I've slept into the next day and go downstairs and make a bowl of cereal because I think it's breakfast time.

My sleep was mercifully dreamless. I didn't dream about Jake for the first time in a while. That was a plus. The great dead feminists of the world would be proud of me.

**Jake POV**

Something was wrong. Something had _happened._ To Renesmee. I woke up the next day with an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't psychic, but I always knew when something was wrong with my girl. I immediately went out and butted in front of a bunch of people in a line to buy bus tickets. I was terribly rude and definitely made several enemies, but what can you do?

I was so worried the entire ride there that practically all of the nails on my right hand were gnawed to bloody bits. Horrible scenarios were running through my mind: Nessie was kidnapped. Nessie had contracted some horrible disease. Nessie had gotten asked out by some other guy. Nessie was dead. I felt like the biggest ass in the universe for leaving her.

As my ride approached Forks, I caught flashes of movement outside the murky window. Glimpses of silver, black, brown, and speckled fur slithered through the brush. I caught the light reflecting off of several pairs of large, dark eyes. Damn it. I didn't want to deal with the pack right now. I decided that if they tried to ambush me on my way to the Cullen's place some people would be getting their bones broken. And I wouldn't even apologize.

The bus stopped, and I pushed my way to the front, amidst many grumbles and complaints, so I could book it to the Cullen's house through the woods. I changed quickly, pounding through the woods at twice my usual rate, which was leisurely in comparison. I was grateful not to hear the snuffling of my fellow wolves behind me. When the Cullen's monstrosity of a house loomed above the trees, I took my chances and leaped to the porch on the second story, howling and generally making as much noise as possible.

Edward pulled open the door and glared at me. He didn't seem distraught, just pissed that I randomly showed up and disturbed the entire family. I gathered that Nessie was fine, but that didn't answer my question of what was wrong in the first place.

"She's asleep," Ed hissed, motioning for me to quiet down, "Recovering."

_Recovering?_ What the hell from?

When he explained to me, I found it difficult to look him in the eye due to the guilt I was feeling. Renesmee and I had been acting like immature eighth graders on their first date.

I wanted to see her so _frickin'_ badly. I knew I couldn't, but I wanted to rekindle the friendly relationship we'd had a few months before, when she didn't feel awkward around me and didn't see me as an aging older relative.

"Do you want to see her?" Ed asked carefully, dangerously. I was good enough at reading between the lines to know that he was threatening me with bodily harm if I left. In any normal situation, i.e Bella and Charlie, the father would go out of his way to ensure that the offender behind his daughters broken heart stayed far, far away, or better yet, was hunted down and beat with a club. But this wasn't any normal father/daughter/offender case, and Renesmee wasn't in love with me, anyway.

"I'll _see_ her," I emphasized, "While she's asleep, if you don't mind."

Ed glared at me, but I knew I'd won this fight. He threw me a pile of clothes (how does he do that? Creepy) and turned his back so I could hurry them on. I was surprised he didn't deliberately stare at me just to be degrading.

The clothes were not even close to fitting, something he did on purpose, but I shrugged it off. Let Ed have his fun. I didn't really feel like seeing all the other vamps today, so I simply leaped to the third balcony, where Nessie's room (Ed's old one) was. As quietly as I could, I slid the screen open and stepped onto the plush carpet in the darkened space.

Oh. God.

She looked terrible. Her arms, flung across her white face, were thinner than I've ever seen them, her lips were dry and cracked, her hair had lost its luster…what was she doing to herself, the stupid brat?

Edward said she was doing better? Doing better than, what, _death?_ Biting back a snarl of rage, I leapt off the balcony as a wolf, letting the tatters of clothing drift slowly to the ground.

If anything, this was further incentive for me to stay away. She was doing better, and she would be fine in a few weeks. I was just a moron who confused her and made her self-destructive.

While she was still young and naïve, I needed to stay far, far away.

**Guys what do you think about the writing in this story? I feel like it's kind of mediocre; I might go back and redo most of it. This is some of my worst writing, I feel like. Oh, and I really didn't want to do this, but I swear I wont write anything else until I get at least 5 reviews on my other Twilight story. Days Gone By. BWAHAHAHA!**


End file.
